My Life as a Video Game

Have you ever wondered what your life would be like as a video game? I think it’s safe to say that in most cases life would be a lot more interesting if it were a game, unless you have a very action-packed life. Even some of the chillest games, like Stardew Valley, have their advantages; If all I had to do was grow veggies, chuck them in a box next to my house and make a big profit over night I’d be a very happy woman.
Once I had the thought I couldn’t shake it, would I have powers? What about the world around me? Would I have a mortal enemy? I jotted down a few ideas but then I went overboard and I ended up with a load of stuff so I thought I’d share it all with you guys. It was pretty fun so if you wanted to give it a go as well then please feel free!

The World

I thought it made sense to start off with the world so you that you can imagine the characters and story within it.

While the outside would not be the first place one might think to look for me I do greatly appreciate how beautiful the world can be and I’m very keen on trying to be as eco-friendly in my day-to-day as I can. My video game world would be very bright and colourful. Think Pokémon or Stardew Valley. Lots of plants and animals, we’ve not destroyed any jungles or eco-systems. It’s basically a hippie’s dream.
Magic has a big place in this world, there are both magical and non-magical people and they work together to achieve a perfect balance. Need to get somewhere? Use one of the communal portals! Want a matching hat to go with that wizard cape you love? Talk to a seamstress. Need a house built? We have builders that work with wizards to create magically enhanced and faster to construct buildings! The main rule here is “you can’t create material objects or life with magic”.
As everyone has skills or magic that they can use to contribute to the world around them, everyone is considered as equals. Happy, happy times.

The Protagonist (aka Me)

All heroes have skills and powers, right? What would that mean for me then? Well, I tried to keep it based on what I’m like in reality, otherwise I’d go off on one about shapeshifting, and breathing fire, and who knows what. I wanted to make it so that I wasn’t indestructible.

I’m pretty sporty in real life, particularly inspired by aerial arts so I’d have enhanced acrobatic skills.
I’d also have an incredibly double-sided power where I can tangle anything up in my hair and subdue them, however once I’ve used the power I have to spend a couple of minutes playing the “de-tangler” mini game where I need to brush all the tangles out of my hair before the hairbrush becomes sentient and attacks.
Finally, I’ve always enjoyed playing as a druid, and if I were a Pokémon type-trainer I would choose grass, I have a fair amount of plants in real life too, so I’d have plant based powers on my side. Think Poison-Ivy meets Bulbasaur. If the battles are getting a little boring or tedious though I’m not opposed to bringing out a shotgun to finish the job quickly.

I suppose I should have weaknesses too. My big one would be that I am easily distracted. Do I really need to find that cure for the thing that’s happening right now when I could do some side missions for the NPCs instead? Or you know I’ve really been meaning to level up my Cooking skill recently…
My second weakness would be that my Hero training can easily be disrupted by sending me biscuits. I can’t buy biscuits because I will eat all of them but they’re still a frequent shared treat at the office or in cafés and stuff and honestly if I didn’t get so tempted by them I would be a lot fitter. There could be a mini game where you have to dodge ninja biscuits or something, that would be fun.

The Antagonist

Before I start this one I’d just like to say that any resemblance to anyone that I know in my personal life is totally coincidental…

With her incredibly shrill voice and habit of shouting at people, making them feel extremely uncomfortable and unhappy, The Hagraven (Skyrim inspiration coming through there) is a bitter woman living alone. Except for her deaf, loyal man-servant Igor who carries out her every wish. She has extremely long witch-like nails that are more like claws. These are her main method of attack once her screeching has subsided. One of her big attacks, usually used halfway through a battle is called “Playing with Fire”. She will appear docile and calm, fooling the attacker into thinking that she can be approached or reasoned with but if you fall for it she lashes out with both a screech and claw attack, taking off half your hit points. One time out of 20 though she can be reasoned with, causing the battle to end (unless it’s the final battle). Finally, The Hagraven will drain the life out of everything nearby to fuel her power and heal herself. This is the Hero’s biggest problem as she also relies on nature to help her, but in working with it rather than using it. If The Hagraven drains too much around them then that power becomes useless to the Hero.
Having decided to ignore the magical rule of “you can’t create life or bring things into being” she has been experimenting and in doing so created a zombie army which are the most frequently encountered enemies in the game.
The Hagraven’s arrogance is often her downfall, often putting too much faith in her own abilities and underestimating her opponents.


Got to have some plot!
The Hagraven lives in her own domain outside of the main town. Due to the negativity radiating from the house all plant and animal life surrounding the area has died. The Hagraven however doesn’t see that her actions and treatment of other people is what is causing the gloom surrounding her. She wants to bring life back to the world around her but through faster means such as using magic, as I said before though, magic can’t create life in this world.

Hyrule Castle Town
I have a bit of Breath of The Wild inspiration going on for the life draining devastation

The wizards were asked, politely at first, by The Hagraven to help her to bring life and beauty back to her domain but they had to tell her that it was impossible. Once she started screeching though the pain and fear she caused generated a torrent of gloom and depression which dominated the Wizard’s Tower until they agreed to help just to get her to stop. Now, The Hagraven has all of the wizards working haplessly to find a solution but without their presence and focus on the rest of the world everything imbued with their magic, (portals, heating, the magic telephone system, buildings supported by magic…) is falling apart and causing mass chaos and misery, helping the gloom surrounding The Hagraven’s domain to slowly spread. The Hero must restore life to the world by freeing wizards. Once a wizard is rescued they will become happy, meaning the area around them will become lush and full of life again, allowing the Hero to access places she couldn’t before and finally, once all wizards are freed, she will have enough power to defeat The Hagraven.

At the end of the game you can have two alternative endings:

Ending 1

You violently blow off The Hagraven’s head with a shotgun and almost everyone lives happily ever after.

Ending 2

You manage to make The Hagraven understand that she’s been a bit of an arsehole and she decides to change her ways and takes anger management classes, eventually becoming a quirky but valued part of the community. Everyone lives happily ever after.

The whole idea may sound a bit juvenile, cheesy, tiny bit over the top, and there are definitely some plot/logic holes in it, but a magical zombie fighting RPG game with Indie elements? Honestly, I’d play that.

I wrote this because I had a “what if?” moment and while it started out as being quite a short post I got a little carried away and I ended up having great fun writing it. If you want to give it a go please do! I think it would be interesting to see what other bloggers would write about for this.

16 thoughts on “My Life as a Video Game

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